What do I mean by this word? I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions the past week. Last week my first baby was born Thursday. I seemed to be on top of the world. During the night that night I woke up with uncontrollable fear. Fear about how to take care of him and things like that--but most of all just covered in nervous fear. I seemed to get better the next day and was doing pretty well. Just loving my new son.
Monday morning I was awakened by a phone call (that I will never forget) about my brother being in an accident. He was outside of his vehicle on I-20 and was hit by another vehicle. I have been with him the past few days at LSU-Shreveport.
My stomach feels like a bunch of knots tied up in one, nervous, scared, tired, excited about good news, sad about what happened. I've also felt torn. Torn between two places--wanting to be at home to see my new baby, but also wanting to right with my brother.
A rollercoaster is the best way to describe this feeling. Not just any kiddie rollercoaster, but a massive top of the line rollercoaster--with speeds that put you back in your seat.
I've wondered how people get through times like these without knowing God. If I did not know Him and could not experience his peace--I think I would be a crazy man! But he gives peace, rest, joy, love, healing, and so much more. He clears my mind of negative emotions and fills them with good thoughts!
I'm not going to lie. Sometimes it's hard! Sometimes I have to really fight. There's a war going on daily in our lives--a spiritual war. Whether we engage or not--it still goes on! As I look back over the past few weeks--I see so many attacks by Satan--in my mind and against my heart. The enemy's desire is for me to lose heart and give up--but we must not! We must realize that we have been given authority over the enemy and we have to see the attacks for what they are--alot of them are in our minds and things he whispers to us--and we can make no agreements with him. We must agree with God!
